Abstract Chatter

It’s been a few months now, and I haven’t been able to document any of my thoughts or emotions regarding my experience with our pregnancy. But it seems only natural that I attempt to assuage my own fears, concerns, and anxieties through this written median. Although it truly is such a blessing to have folks around me who are able to answer questions without any hesitation, there are so many logistics that need to be worked out. Insurance. Cribs. Nursery. Nursing. The list is never ending. And my mom asking when I’m scheduling my C-section!!! oh dear.

And time doesn’t seem to be stopping for anyone.

I thought making a to-do list would help. But then I just got overwhelmed and hungry. So I added timelines and due dates to the to-do list, to mentally prepare for each task –one at a time. I don’t think that made things any better…

And how horrible the first few months were. The opposite of magical. But having a partner to clean up the vomit made me realize how amazing he was during the process nascent stages of my pregnancy, all while I dropped 15 lbs and he gained 15…!

And so many “firsts”.. of course naturally…

• first suppository intake………..
• first inny becoming an outty– no one tells you about your belly button being sensitive.
• first kicks and heartbeats, and ultrasounds.
• first test after test after test–examining all dimensions of this new life.
• first REAL realization of how much is out of our control.
• everyone staring at your belly. Not sure if they should say something or not. Is it just weight gain? Or is a congratulations in order? But are they really thinking what Aziz Ansari was thinking in his Buried Alive tour??

Then due to the overwhelming nature of everything– I stopped preparing and reading. Then realizing how ignorant I was regarding the whole process of delivery, birth and the likes– I began reading again. Only to become overwhelmed yet again.

It’s a crazy new world. A whole new language. That no one warmed me about! But Bismillah– let the new adventures begin iA.